When it comes to survival, two things may prove critical to the insurance of it, status within the group and gut instinct. It may or may not surprise you that even in low (or no) status groups, environments or jobs, there is still a status hierarchy that people will install themselves to create artificial and elevated importance for themselves. The desire for status (value) creates the replication of hierarchy because it is the easiest to adopt, and quickest to assemble. Top-down tiers of importance are so simple that even animals display it as part of their group organizations.

In human groups, order of importance by dominance is how it is constructed and it has nothing to do with relative need, importance or value to the group, especially when those things are subjective values in a playing field where everyone is as unimportant as the other.

When you hear dominance, you might immediately think of physical dominance and intimidating presence. It is natural to think since we are all still animals at our most unsophisticated levels but this isn’t it. The dominance you will see played out is by design and group participation. You still need more than one person if you are going to play “follow the leader”. There are always people who are neither smart, nor problem solvers nor creative or having any other distinct value or trait of their own to lean against and embrace in times of insecure identity. They recognize that their only value is receiving status in the form of being in the close orbit of a leader.

Welcome to the jungle.

Hierarchy Level 1

The Majesty: this is the external raison d’etre for the existence of the low (or no) status group. It can be anyone from an organizational authority/leader (manager, teacher, parent, captain, etc) or the organization itself (fan club, church, civic group e.g. Mothers Against Drunk Driving, or even a ball room dance troupe). From this, everyone else cascades down and if there is no inherent status in any position below this except being in association or service to it, the low/no value status members will create their own hierarchies within it.

Hierarchy Level 2

Oxpecker birds. They are conniving as a means of survival and use that skill to obsessively watch what other people are doing and saying so they can quietly report it back to the person in power. They ensure their value to the leader as an extra set of eyes and ears to spy with while continuing to not be burdened by the need to improve themselves in any other way. They are parasites who know they would be quickly destroyed if they didn’t have a symbiotic attachment to the person in power in this way. These are the ones who make your activities and unguarded words their currency and offering to the Majesty.

The smart ones are humble about it. They meekly and modestly go about doing their work while their eyes dart everywhere watching everyone else and their ears are perked up and listening like satellite radar dishes. They are so genius at their appearance of harmlessness that they even appear like dutiful mice who blend in with the background offering little value to anything other than their task at hand. But if you are patient and you pay attention, you will catch them quietly mentioning to the group leader a particularly damning or condemning piece of information that has no value to them but damaging value to the subject of the whisper.

Think of the relationship of the Rhino and the Oxpecker birds. The Oxpecker bird is a parasite that lives in the safety of and literally, off the back of the rhino. What does it offer in return for 365 days of food and safety by being in its close orbit? It is an occasional, second set of eyes and ears for the rhino about possible dangers it might be missing. In human relationships, this is the mousy character who is all eyes and ears watching everyone else closely while trying to appear harmless and removed from anything that might make them the obvious delivery system of the notification.

Look for the weakest and mildest of the group who is the most confrontation avoidant. From that group, look for the one who occasionally lets harsh judgment slip out about a random stranger or topic and then quickly tries to clean it up and neutralize it by moving on to another topic. Look for the one who isn’t obviously ambitious or prideful with either words or deeds. It may not be obvious right away, but there will be a moment when it becomes crystal clear which one it is. This is the one who rides the rhino’s back at everyone else’s expense.

Hierarchy Level 3

Rhinos. The ambitious and prideful ones. They walk around with their nose in the air, or with a puffed up chest and a critical eye on everyone around them. They see themselves as special because they have ownership of a modicum of skill, intelligence or other quality that the others in the group do not.

They are also quick to cast aspersions on the weaker of the group for not being able to keep up or achieve a level of competence that they would approve of. They want to remain likeable because otherwise, their arrogance would get them tossed from the group or seen as a direct threat to the actual leader of the group. To ameliorate that, they often play games of “scapegoat of the day”, rallying the group around them to find fault and ridicule a chosen target for sport and group unification.

They will often jump at opportunities to display leadership even though their capacity for vision, critical thinking and problem solving remain retarded in their expression hence their holding status in the low/no status environment or group. This handicap is also the reason that they never rise up the ranks out of the group unless there is no other candidate available. Even then, they will remain stuck in their new position, or lose it altogether from lack of aptitude in short order.

Hierarchy Level 4

Survivalists. These are the confrontation avoidant (“I don’t like drama …. but please give me all the gossip!”) individuals who are trying to get through the day without being noticed for having as little to offer as they do. They are not exceptional in any way and being average is seen as a badge of honor. They show up, do their work, have no real ambitions except for luxury purchases and comfort in life and will do anything to stay out of the cross hairs of the top two status seeking tiers.

In fact, they see their tier of playing it safe AS a status tier worth having. They cannot be trusted in an emergency because their allegiance will always fall on the stronger party that is least likely to compromise their security, even if it means lying or omitting detrimental facts. “I don’t want no trouble” is their shield against having to stand up for, or support anything other than their break times.

Hierarchy Level 5

Everyone else.

This is where the majority of people are stationed. You won’t notice it as much because they are often cycling through the core group, en masse, as if a revolving door were installed on the entry way that is also labeled “exit through here.”

Folks who are new to the group that are not a Level 3 survivalist with equally dismal prospects (or mediocre qualities in life to allow them to take comfort in just being able to exist) enter here and exit because of it. Disruption and power plays are inflamed when circumstance introduces someone how is either as ambitious or conceited as a rhino or is clearly smarter or more skilled than others in a group. Their presence make it impossible for the others to not to see the full scale of their shortcomings in the light being cast, and the long shadow they find themselves standing in.

What about those powerful gut instincts?

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Failure can be paralyzing. And not just recent failures, old failures can haunt you like ghostly shackles around your ankles keeping you from moving forward in your life. We all know that our failures shouldn’t define us and yet, perceived epic fails in life often feel like a “life in prison” sentence for our ability to optimistically have confidence in ourselves to be competent enough to trust with risks again.

This may be where the quality of “grit” comes in. Its not enough to believe in something, or tell ourselves we are committed to it. At our lowest, most vulnerable points when we can barely look at ourselves in a mirror without hanging our head in shame because something still isn’t working in our life, these are the times when the ability to stay the course makes the difference. Of course, what everyone forgets to mention is that you have to have a good course that is leading you somewhere meaningful, first!

Failure is never as simple as it seems and is often a combination of many different factors that could have been neutralized with only a few, minor, internal corrections earlier on or at different points of the journey.

The good news is that it is never too late for success. Every sailor knows that navigating from one point to the other is never a straight, direct line. Arriving safely and in good mental health is really the only part of the journey that matters. Everything else is a detail and a captivating story to tell later.

In my life, some things are a labor of love and other things are just an epic grind as part of the mastery process. (I will never understand how young kung fu neophyte, Kwai_Chang_Caine, ever continued to stay committed and endure the trials his blind master put him through.

(If you don’t know who this is, it is a character from an epic tv series that I really recommend you find on Youtube and watch. Look for “kung fu tv series”. If you remember these shows, you are welcome for the reminder. LOL)

The audio editing for the podcast is one of those things for me. Video editing and production is another. Marketing and trying to organize efforts to get one of these projects to turn a future profit is yet another. Its not easy when you are doing it alone and trying to learn from books and videos with very little mentors or support around you.

The worst part is feeling overwhelmed, then looking around you at folks who seem to be doing ALOT more in terms of success and then feeling like an epic failure for not being farther along or living the dream like some of them like to brag online about. (And to be honest, we all know that if you have to brag about how well you are doing online to strangers, you’re either lying or no one who actually knows you in real life can stand you enough to listen to you either. LOL)

Perspective is everything these days and when we are facing external uncertainty, it is really easy to lose sight of how to navigate our lives. This podcast segment is my blog post, everything I want to share with you today is there. I am moving into a routine that essentially has me working two jobs now to try and make this work for both our benefit. To be honest, I have many days when I am not even sure it is worth it. It is so much easier to just give up on it, myself and life and settle into ignominious wage slavery and mind numbing hamster wheel races in my brain for intellectual exercise.

If you have never had these delightful moments, count yourself really, really blessed because they suck in all the wrong ways.

So I want to share something that really put the oil back in my lamp this week and helped me reframe some approaches to life. The small article helped me redefine failure and how to work with it instead of sucking me into it like the LaBrea tar pits.

Please have a listen when you have some down time, send me a note if you liked it or forward it on to someone if you think it will help them. If you are feeling generous, I am always appreciative of tokens of generosity through cashapp or venmo: both are @tributary… or the good, old standby gift cards for Amazon for my basic necessities and small indulgences in life. Send GC to me at my art account: Governesse@gmail.com

I have some really good blog articles in progress. They are long, in depth and thoughtful so they aren’t going up as quickly but they are coming.

I hope the podcast entry today makes life a bit better for you. It helped me and I was the one making it!

See you soon,

Samois

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