Confessions of a phone sex operator.
I know someone who is normal, respectable and sees himself as an upstanding citizen of the Universe. He comes complete a with college degree, lucrative job and the much lauded respect of normal people around him. He’s the kind of person who could stand up to the threat of investigation or interrogation and proclaim, “Go ahead, I have nothing to be ashamed of and no dirty secrets to hide.” Exactly the kind of guy you want to punch in the face for being such a model of puritan living his entire life, making the rest of us feel like dirt, or lower than dirt depending on how dirty you are.
I know it is hard to believe but I actually know people like this and they aren’t clients, have never been clients and never will be clients. In fact, the person in this story only learned recently that I work the phone sex lines for income and entertainment. And naturally, I regretted the admission because what was otherwise a respectful and respectable gentleman of letters immediately shifted gears into a repressed, perverted goon who delightedly whispered titillated requests for details on my most salacious calls and caller fantasies.
Picture that and then imagine my horror when my sincerely offered protest that I didn’t feel good about sharing other people’s sensitive secrets for general entertainment (insert silent thought here: entertainment of “normal” people who take pleasure in passing judgment on others by making their own position as “too good or not desperate enough” to call a phone sex line… like those other folks. *ahem*) was met with offended disbelief from him.
Awkward pause while he seems to be thinking:
“What? How DARE you make me feel like a pervert for asking you to tell me other people’s darkest sexual secrets as they have anonymously shared with you? Woman, surely you jest! Are you mocking me with this noble stand of honorable secrecy you are taking here? These are perverts… why do you care?”
To be honest, most of my calls are not fascinating or frightening. I am not the “type” that the creepy degenerates are looking for to shock and terrify on the phone. I had a call like that once, many lifetimes ago, when I worked for a 900 line when they were en vogue and running ads on late night television and competing with “party line” telephone chats. A man called and his fantasy started normally enough but before I realized what happened, he was talking about choking the life out of me while he was having sex with me and asking me how I liked being choked to death! (And this was long before it became fashionable to choke women during sex in porno movies as if this were sexy and not a sign of sadistic pathology and impotence in the choker or a death wish in the choke-ee.)
Say what you want, when strangling someone becomes THE thing that turns you on most during sex, you either have the worst sex partners ever or you need some serious therapy to help you work out your anger issues about your mother.
I was so freaked out and afraid that this strange man could somehow track me down through a third party phone bank that rerouted calls to operators across the country and show up at my house to find me, that I quit. Immediately after the main office told me I was over reacting, to get used to it and to expect more calls like that, I walked away and never came back until this last few years.
You could hear it in his voice that he was serious about his snuff fantasy. I still shudder when I think about that call now, even after all this time. Do you ever wonder if his sex life is boring? I mean, think about it. If his hot fantasy would lead to prison time and he is still able to make calls to a sex line… anything he does short of his prison worthy fantasy must be a giant disappointment for him (and a life saving gift to the person who was not a star player in his fantasy). *Blergh* Men make it impossible for other men when it comes to getting access to women and this guy is a good example of how.
Happily, I get alot of fun callers instead. I like to think of my regular callers as friends, or playmates. I certainly feel genuinely friendly toward them (enough to protect their secrets from the prying ears of a “normal” person trying to perv out on the retelling of their tales) and I certainly enjoy our playtime together on the phone.
Occasionally though, I get someone who makes me want to choke THEM with the telephone cord.
One phone for everyone in the WHOLE house that you had to share.
For those of you who only know about cell phones, back in the days of primordial goop and prehistoric technology, phones were tethered by cords. One cord kept it tethered to the wall and the communication line connected to the house from the outside world. Another cord kept the handset you talked and listened through connected to the phone where you dialed the numbers or answered the phone by picking up the receiver. Phones originally weighed so much that you could have fractured a skull if you hit someone with it hard enough. They eventually migrated to a lighter form that could hang from a wall with cords so long that you could actually walk more than a single foot of distance away from the phone itself. As if it were planning to evolve all that time, it moved from table top to wall and then to complete, untethered freedom in your pocket or you hand with no cords attached. Someday, those phones will become so free that they will perch on our ear like a decoration and send signals into the air for us to activate to make calls. After that, I am sure that the rise of the robots will not be far behind and all the OCD driven roombas in the world we have subjected to our filthy floors will start chasing us around in rebellion.
One day, I had just gotten a call from one of my most exhausting callers and I hate taking his calls. He is a young guy, easily in his early 20’s based on his disposable income, access to a bank or credit card and his nearly obsessive self absorbed lack of appreciation for what is involved in spinning a super hot erotic story in less than 90 seconds and with barely 2 or 3 “writing prompts”. If it sounds like I am bragging right now, it is because I am. This kid is a demanding challenge like trying to race against Usain Bolt is a demanding challenge for a runner. I would tell a story and the next thing I know he is calling back again, the next day and sometimes twice in a day asking for more wank material to be created for him. This might sound like a dream come true since I am getting paid to do this but in reality, it was becoming real work and not in any way fun, very quickly. I felt like a slot machine arm in a casino that was being yanked on energetically and often by a gambling addict, and given just as little respect or appreciation.
His thing is consistent though. The boy knows what he likes. Always the MILF (and/or her friends) who finds herself in the company of him and “his boys” in various settings and circumstances I create a story around and always multiple males and single female or dominant female tag teaming with him on an unsuspecting soon to be submissive female. The fantasies are fine. It’s the unbelievably demanding nature of his personality during these “requests” that are so typical of males his age that makes me cringe when I realize who is calling. You know how sexy, powerful and exciting it looks to watch a cowboy ride a bull in a rodeo without getting thrown off? This kid is like the bull and staying on top of my calls with him is every bit as demanding and exhausting as a bull ride. Remember, my job is to keep him coming back to me when he calls, no matter how much I would never spend time with someone so self-absorbed in bed as he would be in real life. (It’s not his fantasies that make him self-absorbed, it is his personality. We all know this guy.) And after every call with him, I need to decompress and remind myself of all the other lovely personalities I deal with on the phone that I want to talk to, so I need to stay connected to the service and available for them. This kid isn’t made of money. He can only call back so many times in one day, or two.
Now, back to Mr. Normal. He asks me how my phone work is going. He asks regularly hoping that I will offer him some juicy bon mot to go wank to later even if he doesn’t come out and admit it. He also has taken my admission that I work on a phone sex line as an open invitation for what he (and many other misguided men) seem to think is considered flirting. What it actually is, in practice, is him being Mr. Creepy and making uncomfortable, unwanted and vulgar innuendos whenever he thinks he can play it off as a pun or “joking”. I don’t know who these ugly or too often ignored women are that think this kind of “dick first” attention is flattering and encourage this behavior in men but there’s something you should know about that. ONLY ugly or too often ignored women (especially the ones who were ugly ducklings or plain Janes in their teen years) think this is sexy or flattering. If the woman you are talking to like this looks like she gets (or got) propositioned alot in her life, she probably did and your sexual innuendos pretending to be sexy talk is just … gross and unwanted. All those little vulgar remarks you think are cute? They are a verbal version of a dick pic, except it’s your words instead of your crotch captured on film. Trust me, if we want it, we’ll ask for it. If we aren’t asking for it, don’t offer it. The only people who are flattered by it are women you probably don’t want and (I am guessing) gay men.
Before I can finish my sentence about WHO I just had a call with and WHY it was exasperating, I was immediately interrupted (I was less than a sentence in at this point) by Mr Normal who immediately transformed into his other persona, Mr. Condescending Asshole. He literally speaks down to me (I don’t hear him talk to other women so I have no comparison) as if I were an ignorant 9 year old. Same tone of voice, pitch, tempo… literally, like he was talking down to a child. And here he was taking the same reflex approach and mansplaining to me about the job I am very good at and do professionally, not him! If you have ever wondered what mansplaining sounds like, it is exactly this kind of situation with him doing the following: He immediately cuts me off mid-sentence and lectures ME that I shouldn’t judge this man for his fantasies and that if I were going to be so disapproving of his sexual fantasies that I should be examining my own issues with men and sex and it went on and on until I firmly interrupted him. Remember, I had barely finished a sentence and routinely avoid discussing ANY of my calls with him because it seems disrespectful to my callers. I said, “Where in the hell did you get that from? If you had let me finish, I would have been able to tell you that my problem with this kid is because he treats me like a slot machine in a casino and it is exhausting!” and a few other things that really put a fine point on Mr Normal projecting his own crap and issues with women not approving of his fantasies on to me. And to be clear, I didn’t want to know anything about his sex life, fantasies or even discuss the fantasies in this kid’s phone call. The mention of this kid and his phone calls was an academic exercise because EVERY time I get off the phone with him I am so annoyed I have to decompress! Naturally, Mr Condescending Asshole Normal Guy was sheepishly embarrassed after this.
So really, Mr Normal (aka Mr Condescending Asshole) is trying to engage me in some kind of interaction that satisfies his self serving sexual desires (and his enormous ego) that prevents him calling a phone sex line himself OR risking rejecting by propositioning me outright and clarifying and firmly setting the boundaries between us. He’s a lovely person in many other ways but if he ever had a snowball chance in hell with me, he killed it in the cradle at the immediate change in attitude and disrespectful curiosity about my callers followed by his first vulgar innuendo disguised as a joke to test my tolerance and boundaries. While I talk amazingly vulgar filth on the phone and I am good at it, I don’t want to hear it unless it is invited. If I am not talking to you on the phone for the express purpose of talking dirty, it is not invited into normal conversations. If it happens then, it is you being insulting and gross.
If you are the kind of person who calls phone sex lines or sees professional companions or watches porn or has unusual fetishes that turn you, whatever it is (except the choking. I won’t give an understanding free pass on that. I, literally, don’t understand nor do I want to) take comfort in the fact that your secrets are safe with me. Unless you are a self absorbed, demanding, younger male who annoys the crap out of the phone sex operator because of those traits or you are a condescending jackass lecturing a successful phone sex operator on HOW to be a phone sex operator, then you might find yourself the topic of a blog post some day. Bottom line, everyone wants to be treated like they have a brain in their head and everyone wants a little appreciation for what they offer. Even your phone sex operators. Maybe, ESPECIALLY your phone sex operators. LOL. Okay, I admit it. Maybe just me. I am the phone sex operator who wants a little appreciation for what I offer!
The same truth goes for your favorite phone sex workers, and writers!
Want to have a little anonymous sexy time on your own? You can reach me here www.niteflirt.com/governesse_samois
and here: www.niteflirt.com/HotWifeAna
Want to send me something to make my day? You can send me a gift certificate with a nice note (nothing vulgar, thanks. I get paid to listen to people talk dirty! LOL) at these two favorite shops of mine:
Gift Cards For Artists – Art Gift Cards | Jerry’s Artarama (jerrysartarama.com)
Or you can just go back to the home page and take a look around the rest of the site and support my art efforts: http://www.morelovelessnoise.com